Discover Your Limiting Beliefs

Step 1: Create Awareness

• Identify a particular situation where you feel stuck or unhappy.

• Write down the thoughts and feelings you have in this situation.

• Write down how you behave in this situation where these thoughts and emotions are triggered.

Example: "While scrolling through social media I feel unhappy as other people are living their best lives and mine is boring in comparison. I start a negative internal dialogue with myself. I go to the kitchen to fetch myself a sugary treat to feel better."

Step 2: Identify the Limiting Belief

• Next, identify the belief that is underlying your emotional reaction to the event. This is often an automatic thought that may not be immediately apparent.

• Ask yourself:

  • Considering the way I behave in this situation, what must I believe to be true?

  • If this behaviour was driven by a negative belief, what would that negative belief be?

  • What must be true for me in this situation that would explain my behaviour?

• Write down the belief(s) in a clear and concise manner.

Example: "For my behaviour to make sense in this situation where I feel bad when looking at social media posts of others, I must believe that these people are happier than me, that they are more successful than me and that they are more fulfilled than me."

Step 3: Note the Consequences

• Note the emotional and behavioral consequences of holding onto this belief. How does it make you feel, and how does it affect your actions and decisions?

• Write down all the emotional and behavioural consequences of holding onto this belief.

Example: "My mood dips. I feel less motivated. I am less kind to yourself, engaging in negative self-talk. I forget about all the wonderful things in my own life. I self-sooth with junk food."

Step 4: Dispute the Belief

• Challenge the belief by asking yourself the following questions:

  • What assumptions am I making in this situation?

  • What evidence do I have to support this belief, and what evidence do I have that contradicts it?

  • Is this belief in fact true, or am I filtering out valuable information that contradicts this belief?

  • According to whom or what am I basing my conclusions that lead to holding this limiting belief?

  • What if the opposite were true?

Example: ""Happier, more fulfilled and more successful according to whom? On social media their life may look perfect, but it's a curated version of reality. I don't have any evidence to know that they are more fulfilled or happier than me. I don't really know anything about this person and their life. I am making assumptions based on very limited information. They could be extremely unhappy and less fulfilled than me, and only posting a version of what they want to be seen as online."

Step 5: Empower Your Mind

• Finally, replace the limiting belief with an empowering belief that is more realistic and beneficial.

• Write down the new belief and how it makes you feel.

• Consider how this new belief can change your emotional and behavioral responses in similar situations in the future.

Example: " I choose to focus on my own journey and achievements, rather than comparing myself to others. I recognise that social media is not an accurate reflection of someone's entire life. I celebrate the unique joys and blessings in my own life. This makes me feel lighter, more energised and motivated to embrace all the joy in my own life"

Now that you have completed the ABCDE model, reflect on the following:

• How do you feel after completing this activity?

• How has your perspective shifted?

• What will you do differently in the future?

• What one positive action you can take the next time you find yourself in a similar situation?